Christmas Gift Ideas

It’s that time of year again, and project managers up and down the country are wondering what to put in their team members’ stockings. Well, have no fear, here’s my must-have gift-giving guide for the Data Guru who has everything.

1. A Better Computer

Is your data migration lead’s brow furrowed? Does he spend hours staring at his screen clenching and unclenching his fists as the record count ticks from 100 to 200 on a 10,000,000 record load? This might be a sign that the refurbished Pentium III laptop or the virtual box accessed through a dumb terminal that you thought would be so much more cost-effective than a new Dell wasn’t such a good choice after all.

As data flies in and out of it, headed for the target database, both of the test machine’s kilobytes fill up immediately and it starts furiously swapping to keep up. The lights dim, the smell of burning fills the air, development computer fails to respond to mouse-clicks, the screen fades to grey. This is when that lovely, christmassy scarlet colour can be seen in the cheeks of your colleague.

Why not log in to the purchasing portal and order a better computer? What it costs you will be more than made up in fees as work gets done more quickly and doesn’t spill over into extra days and evening work.

2. Talend Data Integration Suite

OK, so Open Studio is the best £0.00 you’ve ever spent, but there’s a whole other level of greatness!

3. The Force Awakens Tie-in Poster

The power of the Force (AKA The Disney Corp) has reached into the world of data migration, producing a system even more powerful than PDMv2, and now you can buy inspirational posters based on the movie script to help motivate your data migration lead to fight the power of the dark side.Yoda

4. Another Spreadsheet

This one is a perennial favourite, and ultimately what most data migration professionals are given every year. We’ve all seen this heart-warming yuletide scene: Late December, a few scant weeks before go-live, and the project team are pulling on their coats, ready to go down the pub for their Christmas do. As if suddenly remembering something, one of the BAs turns and says

“Oh by the way, I’ve just emailed you a spreadsheet the business have told me about. It has mission-critical data on it and they absolutely can’t go live without it. Merry Christmas!”

…and with that they are all gone, leaving the vision of a slowly turning egg-timer reflected in the tears of – one assumes – pure joy, streaming down the data migrator’s face.

Happy Christmas…. And remember, we’re making a list, we’re checking it twice….

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